Everyone remembers where they were when I bought the hundred dollar Mario clock
Bro thinks he's meeting him here today to take him to his mansion in the sky 💀
balsaamic vinger ekmo
who up mooning they pie
tools are for chumps and loons!
[duke nukem voice] daddy needs his ozempic
You're not allergic to eggs, your mother was just an anti-vaxxer in the 90s
Shuffling my liked tracks & wanting to like them again. My taste slaps & bangs relentlessly
Life is zelda, I'm just tryna link
Instagram wants me to take ketamine sooooo bad
Did the animals in Madagascar witness 9/11?
You spend $60-70 to spend hours clicking cgi heads
Okay we NEED to talk about Kevin 😍
Upgraded to 32GB RAM & now I can see God
One thing about me is that when I poop in public I'm gonna first pull up, then pull down!!! 🤣🤣😂
We do not talk about the cock & balls in A Room with a View enough, & I am here to change that!
remembering the good days when I had the level of self-worth required to toast my pop-tarts before eating them. Feels so long ago
All allegations of me existing as a romanticized version of myself in someone else's mind at 1:41 in the morning are slanderous & untrue completely
Just saw my side profile & heard my voice in the same video. Is the assisted suicide in Oregon free, or do you need good insurance?
Kehlani. Kehlani. Kehlani.
Real human beings cannot "queerbait" please step outside
Looking in the mirror "I could be hot if I tried"
Charli XCX actually wrote "Yuck" about me fyi
altopalo x Passion Pit collab would go crazy
Elon Musk runs twitter the same way Donald Trump ran the country (which is insane)
How do I become a Brandt Boy
Lizzie Borden was so real for that
Yes crackingchris could have his WAY with me!!! Is that what you wanted me to say? Are you happy????
If she’s your girl, then why’s she asking for my opinion on snail mucin? 🤨
So much of anti-religion/non-religious gen z believing in shifting...make it make sense
My body will be lootable at my funeral. Little bits, trinkets, etc.
I have that annoying amount of testosterone where my voice sounds like a 12-year-old tomboy but I have the hairiest ass you've ever seen
what good is "capitalism" & the "free market" if we still have toilet bowl cleaner that can't be sprayed upside down?
Before I'm an American, I'm a 3OH!3 fan 💯
So close!! That is a shape 💕
Fergie released Big Girls Don't Cry (Personal). She is allowed to sing the national anthem however she pleases
I don't want to BeReal I want to BeLoved/Railed
Finally understanding the appeal of gym bro culture. My sleeveless under armour makes me feel like such a sexy little slut 😚😫
I think we can all agree that Sigourney Weaver
Dirby's Kream Land
If their bathroom, kitchen, bedroom, etc. is full of Spring Valley bottles...RUN.
Dad found out how to watch Family Guy on demand. Worst day of my life
one thing about me: when a woman releases a music video shot at night with a spotlight, i'm gonna watch it!!
"grass is blue" by gordi song of the year idc idc
all i'm saying is i've never seen joy oladokun & justin bieber together in the same room 🤔
I have a REALLY good idea!!!!! Ethan Hawke kisses me
i am nothing but a white woman's whore ☹ 
Oh you just know I'm gonna press extra rinse on the washing machine...
I really don't like the person I become around cold ham
One thing about Hugh Jackman is he's gonna show hole
FUCK Anita Bryant all my homies hate Anita Bryant
Moisturizing your feet the ultimate power move
I live without peace for loving you
cosmo sheldrake wants what grant kirkhope has so bad
Big flood would be sooo good for us rn
Bro give me your keys I think you're too crunk to drive
One thing about me is I'm gonna check for updates 😂
My toxic trait is getting Main Character Syndrome whenever I listen to Nothing But Thieves alone in my room at night
Just want to make it extremely clear that, in regard to the numerous rumors surrounding me, I am NOT my body, NOT my mind, or my brain!
Dirty Bubble is queer icon
My glands are just IN my body, doing things for me.....
NOT BE BENEFITING FROM THE INDUSTRIAL REVOLUTION & ITS CONSEQUENCES 😭😭😭
My hobbies include: 1) being involved, 2) being included, 3) people say my name out loud to me with their mouths
Bro your 7-inch inseam is fire bro 🔥
I do not have a type I am very easy to manipulate romantically
Feeling INSANE enough to play SKYRIM on SWITCH
I got too many trophies as a kid, so now I respect people's pronouns
Why does the internet know my middle name why would I ever do that?
tom cardy could do anything he wanted to me there are you happy i said it
I regret every single time someone has seen me naked
Nobody told me that Jessica Simpson released new music so I have decided to cut everybody out of my life for the foreseeable future, bye xo
SIO ASMR runs my shit so immensely
If Nintendo cared about money at all they would have done everything in their power to add Shang-Chi to ARMS but instead they charged $50 for sonic
Something so sick & twisted about hot people who only have hot friends
YouTubers who subtitle their videos????let me give you head
Seeing a lot of midriff of instagram today. God bless Halloween!!
Marketing your product as "no added MSG" feels xenophobic idk
Norah Jones has declared it Christmastime
I want pikmin bloom so bad
I am in love with many
I hope they put weed in my Halloween candy this year!!
I do not listen to lyrics, only vibes. If a song is problematic that is none of my business
Imagine being famous??? Honestly so embarrassing......like what are you doing...
Gotye is classic rock
I wouldn't change a thing & other lies I tell myself: a memoir by me™️
Cat dead. Details later.
Funniest thing I've ever seen (& it's not even close) is our sitting president tweeting "STOP THE COUNT!" during an election
Water does NOT prevent migraines I'm tired of the lies & deception
Sufjan Stevens gave up on the fifty states & frankly so have I
The gopro scene in the hobbit still pisses me off
Marcus Lemonis on Drag Race was my Avengers
Is Acid Betty the Da Vinky triplet?
Still trying to decided whether or not "common people" by pulp is the greatest song of all time
I like the new Slothrust album. Makes me feel 😤hard😤 but not in a I'm-gonna-strain-my-neck sorta way
Just found out season 2 of How To with John Wilson is happening & weeping at the news!!!!
stream Yebba i don't make the rules!
(Idris Elba Edit)
whwy have i seen willem dafoe's ass such an immeasurable number of times?
Does anyone think global warming is a good thing? I love Lady Gaga. I think she's a really interesting artist.
I feel like there's a giant meatloaf inside of me
To catch u up to speed, had a good breakfast and then the torture started...
Sent from my iPad
Whats going on with mycareer
😳 you've reached the end. back to top? 😳
